Help your teen identify their personal and career strengths

While guidance and career counselors can usually be found in schools, they are are often overwhelmed with paperwork and an out-of-control work load. Parents often find themselves stepping into the role of career coach for their teens and young adults, with little training or forethought.

It’s a hard gig. In our current society, students are faced with the task of making life-determining choices before they even have a chance to understand the difference between an accountant and a business manager. They may have no idea what an engineer does - or a statistician or a dietician or a speech pathologist. How can they choose a career when they don’t even know it exists?

Here are some tips to help your high schoolers begin to research careers and get started on a positive career path.

But, before you begin….

Before you begin “helping your student,” take your own pulse. What expectations do you have for your child? Do you assume they will be headed to university? Do you plan for them to follow in the family business?

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One of the most helpful things you can do for your student is to set aside those expectations. You can acknowledge them to yourself “I really think Sarah would make a great nurse” and then set those ideas aside. This is not about you! It’s about helping your teen find their own path - which may not look like yours.

Check your assumptions. Don’t assume your child is just like you. While you may love your job as a ______, you can’t assume that your child will also. They may or may not share your interests and career leanings. Don’t push them toward your alma mater just because you had a great time there. Don’t tell them to avoid the sciences because you hated dissecting a frog in biology lab. Allow them to be the one of a kind, unique individual that they are.

Also, consider the messages you are sending your children about the world of work. Are you passionate about your own work or do you find yourself complaining about your dead-end job each evening at dinner? Do your children see you working in a field that excites you or just counting the hours until the weekend? Sometimes we project our own disappointments and unfulfilled dreams onto our children. The best way to avoid this is to get clear about our own feelings about our success in the workplace.

So, now that you’ve taken your own temperature, and gotten rid of some assumptions and expectations, what do you do?

Here are some ideas for helping your student identify their strengths and passions and research possible careers.

Identify interests. Start with their class schedule. Ask them what classes they enjoy. What textbooks do they find interesting? What do they like to read? When you study for an occupation, you have to read a lot about it. It helps to enjoy or be interested in what you’re reading.

Focus on what they enjoy. It may be what they are good at - but not always.

Identify strengths and passions. An easy place to start is by looking at their report cards/ marks. What classes do they repeatedly score well in? What classes do they talk about positively? (Be careful here though, a popular or favorite teacher can easily sway interests). Take note of subjects that are “easy” and which ones they struggle with.

One great exercise is to ask teachers/ coaches/ youth leaders who know your child well to list the strengths they see in your student. It’s a great self-esteem building tool as well as a window into their strengths. You can download a worksheet here to use. This worksheet can be used by teachers, coaches, parents, and even the student themself. They might surprise you with what they consider to be their own strengths.

Encourage a variety of classes and activities to see what appeals to them. I talked with a friend who is now an award-winning architect. In high school, he opted for a drafting class - simply to avoid the band class his parents were pressuring him into. It opened up a whole new field that appealed to his strengths and passion and has become his life’s work.

Give your student chances to try different activities - museums, nature, science, travel, sports, art galleries. It’s easy for students to get stuck in one activity that they’ve always done, like a sport or music, but encourage them to try new things. See what interests them and what gets them talking. If they show interest in a topic, encourage them to explore it online and in other venues.

Try an aptitude test. When you don’t know where to begin, a career inventory can be a helpful place to start. While I don’t recommend taking the results at face value (especially for a single test) and making a life decision simply because of your MBTI career results, these assessments can be very helpful for students who have no idea what they want to do. The list of results gives you a starting point for conversations and further exploration.

One of the most helpful assessments for teens/ young adults is the MBTI/ Strong Career Interest Inventory Combined Assessment, available in a student format. It may be available through your local school or university. You can also find it here on my website.

Many of the free inventories you can find online are fun, but not always well researched or accurate. The MBTI/Strong Combined Report has decades of solid career research to back it up.

learn more about mbti/strong career report

Find a mentor. If your child shows real interest in a subject or a career path, help them find a mentor who can help them investigate that field. An encouraging role model can make a tremendous difference in shaping career explorations.

Use online research options. Researching careers is easier than ever with online options. Websites like O*Net Online https://www.onetonline.org/ and mynextmove.org allow students to research careers. Type in a career possibility - or just a phrase like “cure cancer” - and find out educational requirements, job descriptions, and salary projections for medical researchers or other careers. O*Net also lists employment trends and the projected growth for each career field.

Be patient with indecision. If your child announces that they are going to medical school, and then changes course after taking organic chemistry, it’s okay. About 80 percent of students in the United States end up changing their major at least once, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. It will probably happen. Choosing a career is a growth process. I work with mid-life adults who are still changing careers and figuring out what’s next. To think that an 18-year-old knows “what they want to do” is an unrealistic expectation.

Encourage internships and co-oping. The best way to find out if you like a job is to try it out. Rather than working at the local burger joint, encourage your student to find an internship for the summer in a field they are interested in. Not only do they find out more about career possibilities, they begin creating a professional network and also set themselves apart from their peers - who are learning how to deep fry potatoes.

It’s never too early to start. Begin talking with your kids when they enter high school. Help them to notice what subject pique their interest and what leadership and other strengths they are developing. Enjoy the process!

Career coaching your own teen or young adult can be a challenge; however, it can also be a fun, relationship-building time. Set aside your own expectations, offer different activities, suggest online options. and really listen to what they have to say. You’ll get to know your own kids in a whole new light.

Who knows where they will end up? it will be exciting to watch.

Want more help in guiding your teen to make career decisions? Sign up for our next parent webinar.

Anita Flowers is a Board Certified career and life coach at Blue Sage Career Strategies. A little different than most life coaches, Anita’s background in clinical psychology and years of experience as a counselor gives her a rich understanding of human development and family dynamics. Her work history includes 13 years working with an international business company and 12 years doing individual and family counseling as well as career counseling. This blend of counseling and business experience gives Anita a unique perspective on the world of work and life. Anita works with people literally all over the world to help them discover a life and career they love. Contact Anita here to get started on your new career and life!