What's your daydream escape job?

What is your favorite escape daydream?

It’s that daydream you have when you’re bored to tears at work,

or staring down another day in a miserable job,

or just feeling like there really should be more to life and definitely more to you. 

What do you imagine yourself doing?

You might imagine yourself as a world traveler and blogger, living on a sailboat as you visit ports around the world. You might imagine yourself living off the grid, farming a small homestead and raising goats. Maybe you just designed a best selling app or created a multi-million dollar company and have an entire top floor as your office - with an ocean view. 

What do you imagine? What can you imagine? It doesn’t have to be realistic. Be expansive. What is the grandest escape you can dream up?

Take a minute, close your eyes, and imagine. Even better, write it down - with full details.

I’ll wait….

Those escape daydreams are important. They often hold powerful clues to something that might be missing in your life. If you dream of traveling the world, maybe you’re missing a sense of freedom or adventure. If you’re longing to be off the grid with no cell phone interruptions or emails, maybe it’s simple peace and quiet or a stronger connection with nature that is lacking. Maybe it’s the “no more money worries” of the financially successful that you dream of.  

It’s helpful to take a look at our escape dreams because they can give us insight into our next step.  You may know that you really won’t quit your job and buy a sailboat, but you may need to think about ways that you can dip into that sense of freedom and adventure.

What’s missing in your life that you find in your daydream escape job? Write it down. 

How can you use your escape daydreams as a pointer for a new direction for your life? 

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You just experienced a sample day of the LifeWork Project. The LifeWork Project is a 21 day e-course designed to help you make changes that lead to a more satisfying career and a happier life.  Each day, you’ll receive an email with a short LifeWork Discovery reading and a question of the day to ponder - just like the one above.

The LWP helps you take a holistic look at your life and offers a structured process for making decisions and positive change - both in your career and your life.

The next class begins on June 1, 2020. You can read more or sign up here. 

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For those of you who are actively job hunting, it’s time to get busy. As the world slowly re-opens for business, more opportunities are starting to come available. Here are some things you need to do to get ahead of the competition. Read 5 Tips to Prep for a Job Search during a Pandemic.

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I’m also hearing from parents who are worried about job prospects for their adult children. Yes. It’s a tough time right now, especially for those just starting out. As a parent, you want to share all your hard earned wisdom, but they don’t want to hear it. It’s a tricky situation. Here are some ideas. Check out 9 Do’s and Don’ts for Giving your Adult Kids Career Advice.

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And again, I want to let you know that I’m here to help. I’m offering both career and life coaching on a “pay what you can” basis for the duration of this crisis.

I’ve reduced the price for resume services and career assessments. Again, if you need help and can’t afford it, let me know. We’ll work something out.

If you’re looking for a job, or if you just need a listening ear, let me hear from you. I’ll be glad to help in any way that I can. Just send me an email at anita@bluesagecareers.com.

Hang in there. We’ll get through this together.

Stay well!

Anita

Anita Flowers is a Board Certified career and life coach at Blue Sage Career Strategies. A little different than most life coaches, Anita’s background in clinical psychology and years of experience as a counselor gives her a rich understanding of human development and family dynamics. Her work history includes 13 years working with an international business company and 12 years doing individual and family counseling as well as career counseling. This blend of counseling and business experience gives Anita a unique perspective on the world of work and life. Anita works with people literally all over the world to help them discover a life and career they love.   Contact Anita here to get started on your new career and life! 

3 Steps to Create a Growth Mindset during the Pandemic

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I did a quick facebook poll (completely non-scientific but helpful)  to ask about job changes due to the fallout of Covid-19. My question was simple: How many people have experienced changes in their job since the Covid 19 shutdowns began? I heard a lot of stories. Some people simply answered “furloughed” on the Facebook thread. Others sent emails or messages with details - and laments.

Change is everywhere

Only one person replied that she had had no changes at work.  Everyone else who responded reported massive shifts in their work. Furloughed or laid off was a frequent answer. Others were working from home and struggling with home schooling children at the same time. Private practice counselors and therapists reported coping with the shift to tele-counseling with an average 50% drop in cases. Teachers told me about the incredible learning curve in trying to teach students online - with very little time to prepare.  A veterinarian is now offering curbside checkins for pets and only speaks to the pet owners over the phone, creating system wide change in the animal hospital. Everyone in a customer service job reported changes in the way they relate to clients and co-workers.

The responses from health care professionals alone would take a whole post. Those heroes deserve a lot of respect plus more PPE and way more $$$. 

It’s a challenge everywhere. 

So how do we cope with this massive system wide change? This virus has unveiled long standing problems in the US healthcare system, inequities in education and access to internet and other services, and many other problems beyond the scope of this blog post. 

But on the personal level, in our lives and careers, how do we cope?

First, we wallow. By that, I mean that we recognize our grief over what we have lost - our uncomplicated use of shared space, relatively stable jobs, a work-life without worries of potentially fatal contamination, or the ease of picking up a coffee or having dinner with a friend. For many, it’s the loss of a regular paycheck as layoffs continue to happen. For others, it’s the loss of regular child care which further complicates life. So take a few days to wallow - to grieve - and list the things you miss, such as buying groceries without a face mask or waiting in lines.

Second, we take a good look at reality. In The LifeWork Project, clients spend the good part of a week taking a holistic look at their current reality. What is the degree of happiness and satisfaction in each area of your life - career/work, community, family, intimate relationships, health and wellness, spirituality, finances and fun? 

This virus has acted as a disruptor - shaking up life as we know it. Disruptors can bring innovation and offer the chance to make long term change.

All this makes it a good time to take a step back and look with sharp, clear eyes at where you are right now. What was working in your “old” life?  What was simply not working? What changes would you like to make as we move back into a new normal?

Sit down. Write out the answers to those questions. Make a list. Think about your life as a whole, not just your career, but your family, your time for exercise and relaxation, friends and community, and all those things that make life worth living. 

Third, we have to change our mindset. How can we shift our focus to view this time as one of opportunity? Maybe we are more than ready for a complete career change. Maybe we want to work at home full time, not just temporarily. Maybe, we want to continue our education. 

As the great “Pause” ends, most experts tell us life won’t return to “normal,” or the way it used to be. After 9/11, another great disruptor,  things changed. Now things will change again. How can we take this opportunity to grow, learn, and make our systems, jobs,  and lives better? 

I’m currently re-reading Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck. It occurs to me that as we all face new and difficult challenges at work and home, Dweck’s work offers helpful insights for our times.

Our mindset stems from our own set of powerful beliefs. Dweck distinguishes between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Having a fixed mindset increases the limitations you have in your life.  A growth mindset expands opportunity and creates resilience.

 “In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” (Dweck, 2015)

A growth mindset views challenges and failures as possibilities for learning and improvement. A growth mindset encourages us to keep trying and to keep learning, knowing that change is possible and things can get better. 

The good news is that you can change your mindset - and that’s important. Dweck explains, “The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” 

A growth mindset encourages you to be curious - to ask out of the box questions about how things could be different and to investigate the answers. It is all about learning and taking positive action time and time again. No matter how far you might fall, you continue to get back up to begin playing the game once more.  A challenge is your new best friend.

Facing challenge with a growth mindset gives us tenacity and resilience, which will be dearly needed in the days to come. 

This pandemic has us all asking the deeper questions. Do I really want to return to the old 9-5 at the office (if that ever existed)? Since I’m furloughed or laid off, do I want to look at transitioning to a new career? What changes do I want to make in my life? What values do I want to live out in my life? 

So take it slow and give yourself time. Allow yourself to grieve what you have lost. Assess your present situation - the good, the bad and the ugly. Then be curious. Ask the questions and explore your answers. See where it takes you. You never know where you might end up.

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The next session of The LifeWork Project begins June 1, 2020. The LifeWork Project asks the big questions that you need to answer. Find out more here.

So what is The LifeWork Project 21 Day Reboot? And why you need it.

The LifeWork Project is a 21 day e-course to help you find your path forward.

It’s the LifeWork Project - Pandemic Edition.

I’ve offered the LifeWork Project as an e-course for several years and clients have loved the simplicity of the daily assignments and the deep understanding and vision that comes from the work. The LifeWork Project has helped artists get their groove back. It has helped bored employees find real work that is satisfying and meaningful. A recent retiree used the LWP to refine her vision for retirement and now uses her skills in environmental advocacy. Even those on the corporate hamster wheel have found a path to fresh grass.

So what is the LifeWork Project? Good question - because - It’s actually a bunch of questions.

I considered calling the LWP the Life Questions Project. The LWP is basically a series of questions for you to answer about your life - questions that will:

• help you asses your current situation

• take a realistic look at your finances

• clarify what you really value and how you want to live your life

• explore your personality

• take a look at the lessons you have learned from your past

• make positive decisions about your next step

• create a plan for living into a future that really works for you.

I call it “do-it-yourself life and career coaching”.

The LifeWork Project helps you find the answers within yourself - the keys to your next step forward. 

The LWP uses the tools I have developed over years of mental health counseling and life and career coaching - tools that include journaling exercises and creative visioning experiments, along with practical worksheets and inventories.

You will receive a daily email with a short LifeWork Discovery reading and the question of the day to ponder, write about, and reflect on. Each weekend, you will try a creative LifeWork activity - something fun but helpful - and modified to fit the restrictions we are all following to stay safe and healthy.

You will start by assessing what shape your life is in right here right now - in the middle of a global pandemic and coming recession. Scary, I know, but once you look it in the eyes, you know what you’re dealing with and you can move on.

The LWP Pandemic Edition is a little more philosophical - a little more spiritual.  The lockdown and resulting anxiety about life and money and jobs has us all re-thinking our lives a bit. The LWP gives you a chance to write down what you’re thinking, spend some time reflecting on what it all means, and then make good positive decisions and create a plan for your next step.

And the big bonus: For the first time, I’m creating a private group where you will have the option to share your responses, ask questions and interact with others on the same journey. I will be moderating the group - so I’ll be available virtually to answer questions about the process - and about any job search or decision making problems you encounter.

So what are you waiting for?

The LifeWork Project begins June 1, 2020 and I’ve deeply discounted the price until May 31, 2020 - trying to do my part to help us all get through this together. Normally, $89.95, the LWP Pandemic Edition is on sale for $39.

If you’ve lost your job and even that is too much, just email me at anita@bluesagecareers.com. I have a few scholarships I can offer for half the sale price.

You can read more about the LWP: Pandemic Edition here. And please just email me at anita@bluesagecareers.com if you have any questions. I’ll be glad to answer them.

Give it a try - it could be the best thing you’ve done since March.

5 Tips to Prep for a Job Search during the Pandemic

It’s a scary, anxious time in the world of work. According to recent reports, 26.5 million people in the U.S. have filed for unemployment since the global pandemic began. Maybe you’ve been laid off or furloughed. Or you’re worried that it could happen any day now. Anxiety levels are up and job worries are keeping you awake at night.

5 Tips to prepare for a job search during the difficult days of a global shutdown

You might think you’ll just apply for unemployment benefits, binge watch some Netflix, and wait for the pandemic to end, but that could be a costly mistake. You’ll be behind in the game and playing catch up could mean a longer wait before finding a new job.

By taking these steps now, you’ll be ahead of the crowd and you may even get yourself hired while things still remain shut down. 

The reality is that while hiring is slowing down, some companies are still looking for workers. I spoke with a hiring manager just yesterday who was spending the day reviewing resumes and planning to do screening interviews by the end of the week. There are still jobs being posted.

So, turn off Netflix and spend some time getting yourself ready to land your new favorite job.

MENTAL HEALTH NOTE: If you’re feeling anxious about finding a new job or just about the state of the world in general, doing something productive can help relieve stress and help you focus on the positives.

If it all feels like too much, that’s okay. Just focus on completing one small step each day. You don’t have to do it all this week or even this month. Today, just find your old resume. Tomorrow, check out online learning options. If you’re having trouble, reach out to a friend or send me an email at anita@bluesagecareers.com. We can get through this together.

Here’s what to do:

1. Learn some new skills. What skills are in demand in your field? Now is the time to upgrade your skills and qualifications. Take an online course, preferably one that comes with a certification. Harvard and MIT offer superb online classes, often for free. Udemy and Coursera  also offer classes. 

   Not sure what to take? Take the time to study job descriptions and see what skills employers are looking for in your field. One standby that almost always earns bonus points on a resume is a certification in Microsoft Office. 

2. Polish your digital presence.  Spend some time on social media and upgrade your digital presence. Polish up your LinkedIn profile, ask co-workers or former employers for recommendations, and join new career-related LinkedIn groups. For example, if you’re looking for a career in accounting, join the accounting and finance professionals group. Use the search function on LinkedIn to find groups in your field.  

   Reach out to both old and new contacts on LInkedIn and comment on posts. Connect with former co-workers and ask how they’re doing in this new world. 

   Clean up your Facebook profile as well. Make sure there are no embarrassing photos or too many photos of you holding beers or doing shots. Employers will check you out! 

3. Organize your network. I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again. The best jobs are found through networking. - I know, I know. We all hate it - but it works. 

   Take some time to organize your contact list. Make a list of everyone you know who might know someone who has a job contact. Everyone. Think broadly - your hairdresser’s next head of hair may work at the company you have your eye on. 

   Write down each name with contact info. Once you’ve updated your resume and digital info, you can begin contacting each person by email or phone and put that network into action. Read more about how to network here.

4. Do your research. Spend some of your downtime exploring and researching companies that you would like to work for.  Pay attention to companies that seem to be weathering the storm.  If a company can survive in this climate, it most likely has a solid foundation. 

   Make it a game to see how much information you can find about companies in your area, or anywhere in your field if you’re open to a move. 

   You can also set up informational interviews by phone or Skype as a way to find out more about the company and to make connections. 

   If you can’t think of companies to research, spend some time on the job search websites, like Indeed, Glassdoor and LinkedIn. Pay attention to what jobs sound interesting to you and positions you would like to find out more about. Research those companies to find out more.. 

5. Update that resume.  Take the time to polish and perfect your resume. Follow our resume tips to create a clean, modern resume that is ready to be emailed out to contacts. Make sure to highlight your best skills that you truly enjoy using. 

So that will get you started. Remember, if it feels overwhelming, take it one step at a time. Do one small thing each day. 

Don’t give up! Be persistent. Be patient. Ask for help if you need it. We will get through this.

During the Global Pandemic, Blue Sage Career Strategies is offering career coaching on a “pay what you can” basis and resume services are deeply discounted. Contact Anita for more information or click on the links below.

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Anita Flowers, M.A. BCC

Anita Flowers is a Board Certified career and life coach at Blue Sage Career Strategies. A little different than most life coaches, Anita’s background in clinical psychology and years of experience as a counselor gives her a rich understanding of human development and family dynamics. Her work history includes 13 years working with an international business company and 12 years doing individual and family counseling as well as career counseling. This blend of counseling and business experience gives Anita a unique perspective on the world of work and life. Anita works with people literally all over the world to help them discover a life and career they love.   Contact Anita here to get started on your new career and life! 

The LifeWork Project™ has a new start date and a big discount!

Rescheduled for February 24,2020

Updated: May 2020: The new start date for the LifeWork Project is June 1, 2020. Check out the Pandemic edition of this popular e-course.

The LifeWork Project™ scheduled to begin in February has a new start date. Due to a computer glitch, some signups for the original start date were missed (to make a long story short.) So I’m moving the start date back a couple of weeks to sort things out and offer others a chance to be a part of the course.

The LifeWork Project™ Basic Course begins on February 24, 2020.

PLUS, I’m offering over a 50% discount as an apology for the mixup. So you can sign up for the LIfeWork Project™ Basic Course for only $39.00 (Original price 89,95) until Feb. 20, 2020. Save more than $50!

What is the LifeWork Project™?

I created the LifeWork Project as a way of making career coaching more affordable. After years of doing career coaching, I’ve developed a structured set of tools - questionnaires, worksheets, journal exercises and more - to help you answer the big “What’s Next?” question in your life. All those tools are available in the LifeWork Project for a fraction of the cost of individual career coaching.

It’s a great way to get “unstuck” and to create change in your life and career.

The 3 week course consists of a daily email with a LIfeWork question of the day to ponder along with other exercises to help you along the path. You’ll be guided along a structured path toward better career and life decisions.

I hope you’ll join us for a great course!

Read more about the LIfeWork Project™ here.

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Anita Flowers is a Board Certified career and life coach and resume specialist at Blue Sage Career Strategies. A little different than most life coaches, Anita’s background in clinical psychology and years of experience as a counselor gives her a rich understanding of human development and family dynamics. Her work history includes 13 years working with an international business company and 14 years doing individual and family counseling as well as career counseling. This blend of counseling and business experience gives Anita a unique perspective on the world of work and life. Anita works with people literally all over the world to help them discover a life and career they love. Contact Anita here to get started on your new career and life!

A Solution for the January Work Blues

It’s only the third week of January and you’re feeling like you’ve already been hit by the bus that is the year 2020. You’re in the same job with the same annoying co-workers, massive work overload and no way forward. You have goals and dreams for yourself and your career but they keep getting lost in the endless everyday to-do list.

Are you ready to make a change? Finally and for real. It’s time to try the LifeWork™ Project.

Let me tell you how I developed the LIfeWork™ Project. When I work with clients individually, I have a very structured approach to looking at their career and their life choices. Over the years, I’ve developed a series of worksheets, questionnaires and practical exercises to help clients get unstuck, to find a way out of the day-to-day loop and to move forward. The LifeWork™ Project offers you all those tools in a 3 week e-course. The LifeWork™ Project makes career coaching affordable for everyone.

Is it time to make a change? Time to hit the refresh button on your career or to begin the process of finding a career you love? Maybe you’re bored out of your mind in your current job and you’re looking for a new challenge that better fits your life and dreams. Maybe you’ve been out of the job market for a while - in school, at home caring for others or just can’t seem to figure out what’s next for you. Maybe you just need a change. 

The LifeWork™ Project is Career coaching for the rest of us.

Here are the details:

The e-course will include weekday emails delivered straight to your inbox with a LifeWork discovery reading and a question or assignment of the day to ponder. Each week you will be guided through a series of exercises, journal writing prompts, and other activities to assist you in examining your personality, identifying your strengths and transferable skills, clarifying your values and creating a career design plan with action steps for moving forward.

You will look at your personality traits and spend time looking back and learning lessons from your past plus taking time to complete a frank and honest assessment of your current situation. Finally you will design a plan for moving forward toward the career you’ve always wanted.

I’m not going to kid you - it’s an intensive course. But it can help you find the answers you are looking for.

The next e-course begins February 24, 2020. (UPDATED)

The LIfeWork Project™ includes:

• Daily emails (Mon-Fri) with a LifeWork Discovery reading and a question of the day

• Weekly exercises, writing prompts and other LifeWork Discovery activities plus a weekend LifeWork Challenge.

• The LifeWork Values Matrix 

• The LifeWork Career Design Plan

• Options for individual coaching throughout the process with Blue Sage Career Coach, Anita Flowers, MA are available at a discounted rate for LifeWork Project™ participants.

Registration is now live for the February course. Space in each class is limited. Take advantage of this low pricing on The LifeWork Project™ and sign up here today.

The LifeWork™ Project is on sale until the end of February 20, 2020. Don’t miss it!

Contact Anita if you have any questions or need more information.

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Career Coaching with Anita Flowers, MA,BCC

Anita Flowers is a Board Certified career and life coach and resume specialist at Blue Sage Career Strategies. A little different than most life coaches, Anita’s background in clinical psychology and years of experience as a counselor gives her a rich understanding of human development and family dynamics. Her work history includes 13 years working with an international business company and 14 years doing individual and family counseling as well as career counseling. This blend of counseling and business experience gives Anita a unique perspective on the world of work and life. Anita works with people literally all over the world to help them discover a life and career they love. Contact Anita here to get started on your new career and life!

When Your Dream Job turns Out to be a Dud: 5 Red Flags that it’s Time to Leave

Photo by Bench Accounting on Unsplash

When Your Dream Job turns Out to be a Dud:

5 Red Flags that it’s Time to Leave

 You did the work. You got a fabulous degree, great recommendations, worked your network and you got the job. The job that you thought was your dream job. It had all the things you wanted – or at least the most important things. But the reality is far from what you imagined. Maybe you’re working crazy long hours. Maybe your new boss is the micromanager from hell. Maybe the non-profit job where you thought you could make a difference in the world turns out to be mostly paperwork and promises. You fill in the blanks.

You thought it was going to be a great job. But it’s not.

 I recently worked with a client who could tell you this story. He had worked hard to land just the right position in a tough to crack field. We worked together to update his resume, find the right contacts, and even prep a few interview answers. He got the job. It was great! 

… and then it wasn’t. His ‘dream’ job turned out to be a nightmare. From the outside, it looked fabulous.  But like many Instagram shots, what was just outside the frame was a total mess. His boss was the ultimate micromanager with an alcohol problem. Co-workers rarely stayed long enough in the job to develop any sense of teamwork. And the whole system was stuck. Any suggestions of change were quickly torpedoed by the upper management.  So, he called me back after just a year on the job with the questions:  

“Now what?”

“How do I fix this?”

“ How long do I tough it out?”

 Those are the questions. What do you do? How long do you stay before hopping over to Indeed and shooting resumes everywhere? What are the best strategies?

 Conventional wisdom says its best to stay at least 12-18 months in a job. At that point, you’ve survived the learning curve that comes with on-boarding and learning new procedures. You know your work team and probably passed your first evaluation. You have gotten through the ups and downs of a calendar year. Most likely, you now understand the culture and mission of the organization – for good or bad. You have developed relationships with co-workers, or not, which is a big red flag. You have a year of experience with your boss. Is he or she always a tyrant? Or just when stress and deadlines prevail?  There’s value in reaching the year mark.

 However, no benchmark works for everyone. Sometimes, an early reboot of the job search is warranted – even with just three to six months on the job. Only you can decide if it’s time to update your resume and begin the job search again.

 Here are some strategies for coping when your dream job turns out to be a dud.

 First, it’s important to dig deep into why you’re unhappy. Take some time to write down those things that you just can’t stand about your new job. Get really specific. Is it one person who seems to drag you down? Is the paper overload temporary or is it part of the company norm? Are you feeling isolated because you moved to a new city? Are you in a cubicle with no window? Take some time to think about why you were drawn to this job. What about it made you think it was your dream job? What are your great disappointments now?

Write it all down and sleep on it. The next day, take a look at your list. Is it still valid? Or do you immediately begin adding new items?

Second, consider the possibilities for change within your new job. Many times, new hires get the dregs of the job. As you gain the trust and confidence of your new employer, will your duties shift? Are there opportunities for promotion or even a lateral move to a slightly different position? As you become more familiar with the job, will you develop strategies for working faster or more efficiently? Is there a supervisor or someone in HR you can talk with to develop a strategy to change those parts of the job that are dragging you down?

Now that you have analyzed your situation, here are a few red flags that indicate it may be time to move on.

1.  Your manager doesn’t support you. You’ve asked for additional opportunities or challenges to no avail. Maybe you met with your boss to talk about possible changes in your position or consulted HR about a lateral move and hit a dead end. You feel unsupported by your boss or the management team.

   The old adage is really true. People leave bosses, not companies. Bad managers can make us more miserable than any other aspect of our jobs – including other co-workers or the actual work itself. A Gallup study of more than 7,000 U.S. adults found that 50% of people have left a job to get away from their manager at some point in their career.

2.  There’s no path for advancement with the organization. You’re working your fingers to the bone, staying late to get things done and there’s no recognition for the good job. Maybe there’s someone in the position above you who’s never going to leave the company. Maybe it’s the boss’s nephew or son or daughter. Maybe it’s the employee who’s been there for years and everyone loves. It doesn’t matter. The reality is that you can’t move up because no one else is moving on.

3.  The company is struggling. Maybe it’s not you but that the company is in real trouble. This causes stress in upper management which then pours down upon the heads of the worker bees. Watch out for signs such as budget cuts, contracting out work, failing to give regular raises, limited funds for upgrades in software and equiqment or continuing education, etc. If so, that’s a clue to update your resume. Now.

4.  Your dream job is affecting your physical health. You may be suffering stress related symptoms such as digestive issues, back, neck or other muscle pain, TMJ, insomnia, headaches, fatigue, etc. The list is long. Check in with your doctor. If possible, take some days off to address your physical health and make a plan to deal with the job issue long term.

5.  Your job is affecting your mental health. You find yourself really dreading Monday – more than just the normal Monday blues. Sundays feel like a bottomless pit of dread. Evenings after work are filled with numbing out with Netflix or an entire bottle of wine. You’re not communicating with – or you’re yelling at – your spouse and the kids. You find yourself thinking of ways to avoid going to work – sick days or invented crises.

   Or you’re thinking about suicide. Yes, I said it. It happens. It’s time to find a counselor or doctor, talk it out, get some meds if needed, and make a change. No job is worth your mental health.

 If you realize that your dream job is truly a dud, or even worse, a toxic waste dump, it’s time to move on. Recognize that disappointment and grief will be part of the process of moving on. You had such high hopes for this job. So let yourself feel all the feels – sadness, anger, disappointment, and all the others. – and then pick yourself up and make a plan.

 Remember that sometimes an unexpected failure can turn out to be a positive. Failures can jolt you into new ways of things. Take the time to stop and think deeply about how the situation turned out. What changes can you make? What have you learned from this experience?

 Think creatively about your future. Where can you go from here? What new skills have you learned in this job? What contacts have you made in your job that you can reach out to possibilities? Maybe this “dream job” was just a stepping stone to something even better.